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A Resolution in Confidence, an EPIC Giveaway, and a Dumpling Recipe for Lunar New

Published over 3 years ago • 9 min read

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Hey Reader,

Yesterday, I made a resolution to myself.

I didn't post it on Facebook. I didn't share it with my family. I didn't put it on my calendar in order to check how I'm doing in a few month's time.

Nope.

Without fanfare or ceremony, I did quietly resolve to be more confident about my decisions.

When I was in law school, I received a terrible grade on one of my exams. I sauntered into my dean's office, plopped down on her unreasonably comfortable sofa, and promptly burst into tears. "How will I ever get a job," I managed between sobs. She handed me a tissue, looked at me with what appeared to be a well-worn mixture of genuine sympathy and an effort not to roll her eyes. "Have you received any other grades like this one?" I shook my head, then blew my nose. "Then, you'll be fine. This will not prevent you from being gainfully employed," she reassured. Then, "Wait, you're not going for a SCOTUS clerkship, right?" I shook my head again, and Dean Cosgrove relaxed visibly, as her face broke into a kind smile. I thought, this frumpy looking dean with her high collared blouses, corduroy skirts and knit socks, and straight-from-the-70s perm could win beauty contests with such a dazzlingly soothing smile, but I kept the thought to myself and instead, reciprocated with a watery grin of my own. She then confided in me something I'll never forget:

"You know, it's interesting. I've had many students walk through my door, sit down on that very same couch, after receiving a bad grade. When it's a man, they never cry. They get mad. They demand to have the grade reviewed and indubitably blame the professor. But women... They always do what you did. Sit on that couch and blame themselves and wonder how anyone could possibly want to hire them." She didn't say anything more and left it to me to draw what conclusions I would from her observations. And after all these years, I've concluded that while I'm a big proponent of taking ownership of one's mistakes, there is, perhaps, a lesson to be learned from those who have developed a habit against doubting themselves.

I am a chronic second-guesser. I decide to do something and then ask myself a billion times over, "but what if...?" And if my doubts are echoed by someone else (a friend, relative, or even my husband), it all unravels pretty quickly.

Yesterday, I shared with my brother that I intend to invest a substantial portion of my business's income to create more high quality long form YouTube videos. And he shook his head in disbelief before telling me, "You can do it yourself or teach Anthony to film the videos and save a bunch of money!" My brother is, himself, a very accomplished videographer and YouTube Creator, so his opinion on this subject is not one I'm inclined to dismiss. We went back and forth regarding my decision-making process and why his opinion on my decision was uninformed, but in the end, I was left feeling, well, incredibly stressed. There's something tidy about making a decision without revisiting it, and I'd done a better job of messing it all up than my 4-year-old nephew, Liam, who had just spilled the contents of an entire box of legos right onto the living room floor.

Two hours later, I was sitting on the hardwood staring into the jaws of a "Lego'd" shark as Liam chased a dinosaur balloon around the dining table, while I continued to engage in my game of mental ping-pong:

Maybe my brother is right and I should just try doing it on my own.

No, you've already tried that and it was impossible.

But maybe I need to interview more people.

Nope, you've interviewed 5 already and you've really found someone you like.

But, maybe Anthony can--

And that's when I stopped. I put my paddle down and said, "I'm not playing anymore."

And I didn't just mean with respect to the videographer. It was about time I quit second, third, fourth, and fifth-guessing myself and simply stick to the decision I'd made, trusting that the instincts, experience, and analytical skills that got me to where I was would also get me to where I needed to go. And what was the worst that could happen? Even if I came to regret my decision, even if things went "wrong" and I wished I'd done things differently, at the end of the day, I was confident that I'd bounce back.

Confidence isn't so much about believing you will succeed or make all the "right" decisions. Confidence is about knowing you will get back up when you fail.

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EPIC GIVEAWAY ALERT!

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Thank you for the outpouring of love and support on the release of my debut cookbook, thank you for helping me hit the 500,000 subscriber mark on YouTube, and thank you for making the launch of the new Korean Vegan meal planner such a success.

As a token of my gratitude, I’m SO excited to be giving away the three prize packages below:

Grand Prize

Second and Third Prizes

OPEN TO All (International Friends Too!). At least one winner will be drawn exclusively from newsletter subscribers (YOU!). Winners will be announced on January 31st at noon CST via IG, FB, and YT stories and notified via email. Good luck!

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Lunar New Year - Dumpling Recipe!

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It's one week till Lunar New Year! As I mentioned a few weeks back, in Korean culture, we usually celebrate New Year's Day by eating a huge bowl of tteokguk (or ricecake soup). I shared my simplified recipe for that a few newsletters ago. If you don't have it, the recipe is included in my Meal Planner, as well. But, for those of you who want to try your hand at dumplings, you can find the recipe for my dumplings in my cookbook OR, thanks to our friends at Mercy for Animals, over here.

And, in case you need a little visual aid for folding them, check out the short video I did below:

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Last Week to Get $20 Off The Korean Vegan Meal Planner!

One of my favorite things to eat is my mom's Goong (Palace) Tteokbokki:

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This is just one of the recipes I recently added to The Korean Vegan Meal Planner! This week, I'll be adding a couple of amazing desserts to the meal planner, including this baby:

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As I've mentioned, anything I make that I like goes into my meal planner with complete nutritional data for each dish and customizable serving sizes. Additionally, you’ll have access to food coaches, grocery lists (with Instacart and Amazon delivery options), videos, and much more. On top of all of that, I’ll be adding brand new recipes weekly! It’s all designed to make plant-based eating as accessible, simple, and delicious as possible. And for a limited time, you can now join for $20 off the Annual Plan!

Just enter "TKV2022" at checkout to take advantage of this limited time offer!

Here are a couple testimonials from happy members:

"This is the third meal I have made from the planner and the second from TKV cookbook. The detail in the recipes ensure that my Japchae turns out the same as Joanne's (hopefully)! I have been a follower for a long time and am really looking forward to a healthy year using TKV planner and cookbook. My thanks to Joanne and team."

"I just wanted to say that this is the best designed, well-thought-out food plan I have ever seen. Amazing. Thank you!"

Check out the video below, a screen grab from my phone, to see how freaking easy it is to use the app to pick recipes, calculate your nutrition (if you're into that), and schedule the entire week of delicious, nutritious food:

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Ask Joanne.

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A few weeks ago, I started a series called "Ask Joanne," where readers can submit their requests for advice on a variety of things for the chance to receive a third party (i.e., me) weighing in on their issue:

Losing friends sucks, especially when you’re the one that messes up. It’s been a few months, and it’s hard, terribly hard to get over it. What are a few ways for me to get over a friendship when you’re the one that messed up (and you changed your ways too, you’re a new person)? - Victoria

Dear Victoria,

First of all, I'm so sorry you are undergoing the loss of a friendship. It sounds like this relationship was a pretty important piece of your life and sometimes, losing relationships is very much akin to having a loved one pass away. Accordingly, it's completely understandable that it's difficult to get over.

The good news is you've already done the hardest part of "getting over it." You've taken responsibility. Kudos to you for recognizing your part in the estrangement--it is the single hardest step towards a potential rehabilitation and, more importantly, the opportunity to engage in fulfilling relationships moving forward.

But, I know what you're thinking: "Ok, good for me. I did the hard thing and owned up to it. But I'm still alone....?" Here are a few concrete things you can do going forward:

  • You can reach out to your friend(s) to see whether they'd be open to discussing your relationship and potentially renewing it. But, keep in mind: (a) they are NOT required to say yes, and (b) if they do, you may be required to eat quite a bit of humble pie. Taking ownership of your mistakes means that you have to accept the consequences of your actions (e.g., your friends decide not to give you a second chance, as is their right), while also being gracious about apologizing (as in, do it specifically and repeatedly, while expecting nothing in return).
  • Now is a good time to evaluate the other relationships in your life. Perhaps it's time to give mom or dad a call. It might be fun to reconnect with a brother or sister, a cousin you remember fondly. Maybe there's a colleague (former or current) who you always thought you'd hit it off with but never bothered to really get to know. As you said, "you're a new person"--get excited about "showing off" that new person to those who are already in your life!
  • Do something, and preferably something that involves other people. If you're an athlete, join a running club, the community basketball league, the local spinning class. If you like to read, join a book club or even start one yourself! Not only will you be meeting new people, you'll continue to see improvements in yourself, ones that will increase your confidence as you explore new friendships and connections.

In sum, Victoria, while you will continue to grieve the loss of your old friendships and, to some degree, the person you were in those friendships (which is ok), take heart in the fact that it requires a great deal of courage and resolve to take ownership of "messing up." Courage and resolve are wonderful attributes in a friend, and even if your old ones don't want to give you a second chance, the new Victoria will most certainly receive a first one from many others.

Wishing you all the best,

JLM

Updates.

  • I visited my local bookstore, Unabridged, to sign their stock of books. Make sure to order your signed copies today, if you haven't already!
  • My friend Charity Morgan has come out with a wonderful new cookbook, Unbelievably Vegan. It is absolutely "UNBELIEVABLE"! Make sure to order your copy today!
  • Have you voted for your favorite cookbook in VegNews's Veggie Awards? I'm not telling you who to vote for, but...make sure to check it out!
  • Did you know that I actually did an audio recording of my book? It was one of my favorite little "side projects" last year. You can purchase it anywhere audio books are sold, including through Audible!

Parting Thoughts...

It has been snowing on and off here in Chicago. Right now, though, our windows are drenched in sunlight. The snow that collected overnight sparkles like rhinestones, while the eaves continue to drip-drop in a way that's reassuring and predictable. It is easy to lose sight of these quiet things, the way the snow melts so artlessly around us, when we clothe ourselves in the chores of the day, in the worries that erode our connection to the ground, the hum of the earth, the shadows that stretch beyond the pavement and into the hearts behind closed doors. I stare out the window and catch sight of the cat that always lingers on the sill across the way, the commuter walking towards the bus stop on the corner, the white plumes unfurling in great puffs against the rooftops, signaling to me that however alone I sometimes feel, I am far from it.

Grief, loss, despair, the splintering pain of those things, sharp and specific--they are the vocabulary of a language we all can speak, we all can understand, even when--especially when we feel there's no one around to listen.

Joanne.

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